Time To Go
It's been so long, and nobody is talking to me. When I was in my room, my mom came, and held a picture of me, then cried.
"What's wrong?" I inquired.
no answer.
"Why are you all ignoring me?" I yell.
But mom just wandered away. Then, a person approached in front of me, out of no where.
"Who are you?" I question.
"I am an angel," she answered.
"What?"
"The reason nobody is talking to you is, because your dead."
"No! This isn't true!"
"It is," she said.
Suddenly, a big, long stairway appeared.
"Now, it's time to go."
I think You're story was kinda short and jumped from place to place and got a bit lost when the angel appeared.
ReplyDeleteI really like the idea of your story and it's just so original, it's really good. Maybe t=you could add more descriptive language in your story so the reader can picture lots of things in their head. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteYour story is very creative! You could use some more descriptive language. When the angel says "The reason no one is talking to you is, because your dead." You don't need a comma and it should be you are or you're instead of your.
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