Tuesday 19 January 2016

                                   
                                    100 Word Challenge Week#3
                           
                                 The Haunted House               by: RainbowSunshine

I made my way up to the mountain, on this rainy day, holding an umbrella. "I've heard lots of mysterious things about this place." I mumbled to myself.

 "But still, no one can stop me from going inside!" 

 As I took my first step in the large red house, I got goosebumps. I sauntered through the dark hallway. Suddenly, I heard noises coming from a hard wall. I amble towards it and touched the wall, a body fell out of it, straight to the ground! It gradually looked up at me, and pointed at something that floated in the air, then muttered,"Help me.............."
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4 comments:

  1. jjmonkey20 January 2016 at 14:09

    maybe make a change to punch the wall maybe something like i slowley tapped the wall and BANG a body fell out, but over all i think you did a great job.

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  2. SoccerLover20 January 2016 at 14:12

    It'a a little confusing why the person punched the wall, so you might want clear that up. Overall good work.

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  3. Pinky20 January 2016 at 14:15

    You have too much I's. I think you should make the story flow more. Your story is very creatve

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  4. Donut The Duck20 January 2016 at 14:16

    you can remove the to between up and the, you could use a better word than big,you could use a more powerful word than dark,I like how used gradually instead of slowly overall I like your story but make sure you used the words form the prompt like you didnt use the word floated.

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