100WC By:RainbowSunshine Week#9 The Hero
"The villain strikes again!" exclaimed the news reporter.
"Will this stop?" I whined.
"The villain is a killer. This has to stop!" I announced.
Next Morning
"I'm late for my meeting, but I'm stuck in traffic!"
I peeked out the window to see what's going on. I saw... The villain! I got out of the car to confront him.
"Why are you doing this?" I inquired.
"Because people are cruel. They don't give me respect, they don't deserve to live." he advised.
"Did you ever try being nice to them?"
"No."
"you should respect others, to get respect."
Later on
"Breaking news! The villain has changed into a nice guy! All thanks to our Hero.
Your is good. You change your story from present tense to past tense you should change and
ReplyDeleteI agree with Albert Einstein, you keep changing your story from present tense to past tense. Also I think you can use some stronger words.
ReplyDeleteLots of dialogue in your story this week. Be sure to check over your work for the proper punctuation as you are missing some capitals. Also, work on having a balance of dialogue and descriptive lines to help tell your story. Watch out for very simple sentence beginnings. You have many sentences that begin with one, two, and three letter words.
ReplyDelete